Baltimore-Washington sports roundup

So much going on between the Beltways that I just had to do a roundup to keep you guys in the loop.

1. Nationals place rookie phenom Stephen Strasburg on the 15-day disabled list. Don't panic, Nats fans, Strasburg will be back. He's got some shoulder soreness on his pitching arm, and Washington opted to shelf him for a few starts until that dies down. It's no big deal, since the Nats are 14.5 games out of first place in the NL East and don't look playoff bound this year. Plus, Washington already announced its intentions to let him pitch 160 innings this year before taking him out of the rotation for the season to ease him into the starter's role. Through the minors and majors, he's up to 110 innings. He'll likely get six or seven more starts and take the rest of the season off.

2. Redskins defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth fails team's conditioning test. Further ramping up the rivalry between Baltimore and Washington, the Redskins' $100 million man was unable to pass Washington's conditioning test on the first try. "Fat Albert" has made headlines this offseason by protesting a move to nose tackle, but he's been with the team so far in Ashburn, Virginia at their practice facilities, and has lost 35 pounds since last year. As the Washington Post reported, "People familiar with the results said that Haynesworth performed well on the first half of the running drills but apparently needed a break to visit the restroom midway through the drill." Sounds like someone had to take a dump.

3. Orioles name Buck Showalter team's new manager. It's nothing to get too excited about, as the O's sit with the MLB's worst overall record. But it's a step in the right direction, I guess, hiring Showalter, who won AL Manager of the Year in 1994 with the Yankees and in 2004 with the Rangers. Still, his overall record of 882-833 is hard to look past. It's better than Dave Trembley for sure, though.

4. Orioles deal infielder Miguel Tejada to San Diego Padres. It's a good situation for Tejada, who joins the NL West-leading Padres for a race for the National League pennant. As the Baltimore Sun explains, the move "not only saves the Orioles money, but also allows them to evaluate prospect Josh Bell at third base for the rest of the season." In return, the Birds got pitcher Wynn Pelzer, a 24-year old in double-A ball who had a promising 2009 campaign.

5. Nationals deal all-star closer Matt Capps to the Twins. Again, without a shot at the playoffs, a pretty good move considering Washington got "highly regarded catching prospect Wilson Ramos," according to the Washington Post. In addition, highly-touted rookie pitcher Drew Storen will assume the closer's role, which, like the Tejada deal, allows the Nats an opportunity to evaluate him for the rest of the season. Ramos, a 22-year old catcher, has been playing well in triple-A Rochester, and should be the long-term replacement for Jesus Flores at catcher.

6. Wizards re-sign Josh Howard to one-year, $4 million deal. It's a pretty good low-risk, medium-reward type signing. Washington wasn't in the running for any big-name free agent signings, and Howard is coming off an ACL injury that caused him to appear in just four Wizards games last season. In the offseason, Washington declined to pick up his nearly $12 million option for next season, and instead brought him back for a much more reasonable figure when staying put became his best option. He may be dangled as trade bait this season while the Wizards try to figure out how to build around rookie John Wall.

Ravens DT Cody passes test

When the Baltimore Ravens drafted Alabama defensive tackle Terrence Cody with the 57th overall pick, it was crystal clear that he wasn't going to get the nickname 'Six Pack'.

It was no surprise when Cody, a 350-pound butterball pictured lactating to the right at the NFL Combine, failed the Ravens' basic conditioning test at their summer training camp in Westminster, Maryland.

According to the Associated Press, the test includes "running 25 yards, doubling back, resting for 70 seconds and repeating it twice."

"It's down and back, down and back, down and back. It's not complicated [but] it's a tough test. You've got to go out there and compete," said Baltimore coach John Harbaugh.

On Tuesday, Cody failed it twice. He passed it on Wednesday morning, but not before earning the nickname "Cheeseburger" from fellow defensive lineman Haloti Ngata. He was immediately removed from the Physically Unable to Perform (P.U.P.) list.

"He's got to lose a little weight, and that will happen in training camp," Harbaugh said.

Gee, you think?

"But the fact that he's in shape is important. That's the bottom line. It shows that he's done the work," Harbaugh continued.

He's done the work? Between Tuesday and Wednesday? Whatever you say, coach.

It's not that Cody won't ever be an NFL star. In fact, he'll rarely ever have to run 50 yards continuously. But still, if you polled 50 people on the street, I'd wager that almost half of them could pass the test -- maybe even in business casual attire.

Marlins' Coghlan on DL after pie incident

If there's one thing in sports that never stops being funny, it's athletes getting hurt by doing stupid things.

A line drive to the head obviously doesn't qualify. But when Arizona Cardinals kicker Bill Gramatica tears his ACL after celebrating a routine, non-game-winning field goal, or when Los Angeles Angels batter Kendry Morales breaks his leg celebrating on home plate after a game-winning home run, you're entitled to laugh.

In general, America finds the unexpected a lot funnier than things that are scripted. That's why a YouTube epic like Grape Stomp has more than six million views.

So it goes without saying that the latest fluke injury is laugh-worthy. Florida Marlins leftfielder Chris Coghlan tore his meniscus (knee cartilage) after throwing a shaving cream pie into the face of teammate Wes Helms.

Helms had just singled with the bases loaded for the Marlins in the 11th inning of a 5-4 win against Atlanta on Sunday when Coghlan delivered the pie, and landed himself on the disabled list.

Coghlan, a promising 25-year old, won the 2009 National League Rookie of the Year Award after batting .321 and hitting nine home runs and 47 RBIs last year.

The injury is definitely one of the dumbest I've heard of in recent years, but since there's no video footage of the post-game celebration, I took the liberty of including a montage of fat people falling down, below. This should simulate the experience you would have had after seeing the injury in real life.

Greivis Vasquez out six weeks

For a guy who finished his college career as one of the greatest players ever at Maryland, Memphis Grizzlies point guard Greivis Vasquez hasn't had the easiest transition to pro life.

After appearing in five games with Memphis in the NBA's summer league, Vasquez will miss the next six weeks with an ankle injury. He will have his ankle scoped, according to Comcast SportsNet's Chick Hernandez.

Vasquez, the 28th pick in June's draft, started three games for Memphis, and averaged seven points, four assists and two rebounds per game, while connecting on 35 percent of his field goal attempts.

A tweet Vasquez posted at 12 p.m. on Monday roughly translated to "I feel well. It isn't anything from another world. Thank god that it was now and not before. So that I want everyone positive and with good energy."

The Memphis Commercial Appeal wrote that Vasquez "struggled with running the team's offense and other NBA nuances during summer league play," but added that "it turns out that the 6-6 player out of Maryland might have somewhat of an excuse."

Vasquez will rejoin the team by October in time for Memphis' training camp and the start of its season. Thankfully, the Grizzlies are no longer in the running for New Orleans point guard Chris Paul. He will continue to compete with OJ Mayo and Mike Conley for point guard duties.

DeMatha-Good Counsel rivalry heats up

Already one of the most bitter rivalries in the D.C. area, the plot continues to thicken between DeMatha and Good Counsel's football teams.

Last fall, Good Counsel finally snapped a bad luck streak of losing to DeMatha in the WCAC title game by beating the Stags, 14-7.

DeMatha had won the five previous WCAC championships, beating Good Counsel every time.

That was nearly eight months ago, and DeMatha still isn't quite over it. At least, the Stags appear to be still working on their plate of sour grapes.

You see, Good Counsel starting quarterback Zach Dancel, a two-star passer with offers from FCS teams Stony Brook and Towson, worked with DeMatha offensive coordinator Chris Baucia in the offseason during some private workouts.

Baucia owns the Quarterback Factory, which provides one-on-one and small group lessons to quarterbacks in the D.C. area in an effort to improve their skills and eliminate any weaknesses. His list of former students is impressive: Scott McBrien and Josh Portis (University of Maryland), Leon Kinnard (UConn), Tom Chroniger (Eastern Michigan) and Josh Bordner (Boston College), to name a few.

Dancel, of course, benefited from the instruction, and threw for 186 yards and a touchdown in Good Counsel's win over DeMatha in the fall. People went ballistic.

Washington Post staff writer Josh Barr writes: "The DeMatha coaching staff wondered how much one of their peers had helped an opponent. Their counterparts at Good Counsel worried that DeMatha might have inside information about one of the Falcons' most important players."

"It was a huge stink. How that happened, it was beyond a lot of people. There were a lot of questions, a lot of unhappy people. A lot of people, I guess the best word I can use, were extremely [ticked] off," an anonymous source told Barr.

Since then, DeMatha has done its best to correct the "problem", forcing Baucia to turn away any WCAC athletes from taking instruction at the Quarterback Factory. That's a real shame, considering the area's talent that could benefit from the private lessons.

Of course, this would be a non-issue if Dancel wasn't starting, or if he had thrown three interceptions in a season-ending loss to DeMatha. But he didn't, so people complained, and now Baucia may have just lost a significant chunk of his potential business.