Carlos Zambrano respectfully disagrees with your decision

Every once in a while, a professional athlete or coach will do something so awesome that it lives (for a few years, at least) in infamy, earning hundreds of thousands of views on sites like YouTube. Ladies and gentlemen, Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano is here for your entertainment.

Zambrano threw a wild pitch and Pirates baserunner Nyjer Morgan took off from third base hoping to score. Chicago catcher Geovanny Soto desperately threw the ball to Zambrano, who was covering home plate. Zambrano appeared to tag Morgan out before he crossed home plate, but the umpire felt differently, calling him safe.

That didn't sit well with Zambrano, who confronted the umpire and yelled at home-plate umpire Mark Carlson, who ejected the Cubs' ace from the game. So Zambrano did the only thing that made sense. He ejected Carlson.

Though Carlson didn't actually leave the field, it was an awesome site to behold. Chicago teammate Milton Bradley, known for his off-the-field antics, said that the scene was "Pretty impressive. That was on a Bradley level."

Zambrano swung a bat at the team's Gatorade cooler before ultimately heading toward the locker room. After the game, Zambrano spoke to the media about what exactly was said during the altercation.

"I didn't say any bad words. Like I said, it's his call to call safe or out or to throw me out. There's nothing I can do after the call," Zambrano said.

Who says you need two arms to play basketball?

Nineteen year-old Fork Union Military Academy (Va.) big man Kevin Laue took an atypical path to earning a college basketball scholarship. His recent commitment to play for Manhattan College next year has drawn some well-deserved attention.

When Laue was born, his arm got trapped between his neck and his umbilical cord, cutting off circulation to his brain and arm. The doctors quickly operated on Laue, taking his left arm off below the elbow.

For most people, that would discourage a person into pursuing a sport that so heavily involves the usage of your hands. At 6-foot-10, though, Laue was more suited for the hardcourt than for the soccer field.

After he ended his high school career with a broken leg as a senior at Amador Valley High School (Ca.), Laue enrolled at FUMA for a postgraduate year, hoping to play his way into a collegiate scholarship offer.

He averaged 10 points and five rebounds for FUMA, picking up an offer from Manhattan and signing his Letter of Intent shortly thereafter. Laue benefited from playing under FUMA coach Fletcher Arritt, who has sent many former players to play college ball.

"He was too good of a player not to get a chance at a college scholarship," Arritt told the media.

Manhattan coach Barry Rohrssen said that Laue reminded him of former New York Yankees pitcher Jim Abbott, who pitched in the MLB for several years with one arm amputated below the elbow.

This wasn't a pity case, though. Despite the physical setback, Laue leads a normal life and is a solid low-major college prospect. ESPN evaluated Laue: "Laue ranks as a serious interior prospect that could instantly help a number of low-major Division I programs. ... Laue has very quick leaping ability and good length which makes him a threat for tip-ins and put-backs on the offensive boards. He also does a very good job of contesting shots and battling opposing post players for position."

Laue will be the tallest player on the Jaspers' roster this year, and hopes to earn some playing time. Manhattan College finished 16-14 (9-9 MAAC) and loses one of its leading rebounders in Herve Banogle.

"I'm a risk. Coach Rohrssen was willing to take it. He has no reason to worry," Laue told the Associated Press. Check out Laue for yourself in this video.

Nerds unite, it's Spelling Bee time

Around Memorial Day, there's a soft spot in my heart. That's either a hereditary problem I need to get checked out, or more likely it's because it's time for the annual Scripps National Spelling Bee. That probably has something to do with the fact that I won my third grade spelling bee (shameless self promotion). Any time you pit homeschooled kids with minorities, fainting and mispronounciations, it really requires clearing out my entire DVR to record this all-day event.

This year's contest is no different, starting with a record 293 contestants, all of whom are experiencing their awkward stages. In Vegas, the over/under on kids with braces was set at 287. I still think I'd take the over. OK, that part was made up, but Vegas really does have prop bets available for this fantastic event, such as "Will a parent yell at a judge?" and "Will a contestant vomit?" I'm dead serious. Those options were available (before the Bee started, earlier today) for people to bet their hard-earned money.

My two favorite moments in recent Spelling Bee history have to be one kid thinking the word he was just given was numb nut, and the other kid who fainted and fell off the stage. Both videos are definitely worth checking out if you haven't seen them before.

Who's my pick for this year? Hmm, I'll say it's probably going to be a minority, and I'm leaning toward Indian. Without any research, I'll take speller #292, Rajit Singh, who aced his second round word of habitual. Give 'em hell, Rajit. If you can't stand to wait to go home and watch it for yourself, you can even follow the round-by-round results on the Scripps website, though there is something significantly less exciting about getting text updates on a spelling bee. This is just the preliminary rounds, though. The championship will air on Thursday at 8 p.m. on ABC.

Cuse chews up, spits out Big Red

Up 9-6 with just over five minutes left in the 2009 NCAA Men's Lacrosse National Championship game, the fairytale was coming true for Cornell. George Bush Sr. was just taking office the last time the Big Red had been in the Championship game. Yet there they were, 5:31 away from their first title since the 1970s.

Then, a funny thing happened. After Syracuse coach John Desko called a timeout to rally his troops, Orange attackman Stephen Keough scored, closing the deficit to two goals with 3:37 left on the clock.

Less than a minute later, fellow attackman Cody Jamieson scored, closing the gap to a single goal at 9-8. The Big Red needed to stop the bleeding for just two and a half more minutes. Things looked good when Cornell retained possession with around 30 seconds left in regulation, but Syracuse's Kenny Nims checked the ball out of a Big Red defender's stick, and Orange midfielder Matt Abbott came out of the pile to pick the ball up.

Abbott tossed a pass over his head windmill style back to Nims, who snuck a shot right by Cornell goalie Jake Myers' feet to tie the game with just 4.5 seconds left. Even though the game was headed to overtime, a world of momentum had shifted from Ithaca to Syracuse, two fan bases separated by just 50 miles.

The overtime period was quick but painful. Cornell won the opening faceoff but lost possession as Syracuse got the ball to Jamieson, whose shot found the back of the net, and found the Orange its record 11th National Championship.

"The guys have faith in me, and knew I could put the ball in the net. That's just the way the cookie crumbles," Jamieson said after the game.

Apollo Creed knocked out Rocky. Florida bested George Mason. And now, equally painfully, Syracuse topped Cornell. Watch it unfold below.

Poll: Who had a worse day?

Option A: Chicago White Sox fans on Thursday. At U.S. Cellular Field, 23,048 Chicago fans are subjected to one of the worst losses in White Sox history as the home team loses 20-1 to the mediocre Minnesota Twins. Later that night, the franchise's optimism is squashed when Padres ace Jake Peavy vetoed a trade that would have shipped him to the Windy City, exercising his no-trade clause in his gigantic contract. Womp womp.

Option B: Mets fan earlier this month. A woman loses her gold tooth in a toilet at Citi Field in New York. As she dove to save it, her arm gets stuck in the toilet. Not only does she miss a good part of the game while medical help tried to pry her free. After several unsuccessful attempts--while the toilet kept trying to flush her arm--the Mets' stadium security had to call Cardoza Plumbing to free her arm. On top of that, the Mets lost 8-7 in extra innings. A crappy day, pun way intended.

Wizards miss out on Griffin sweepstakes

Well, the NBA Draft lottery came and went last night, and as I pessimistically expected, the Wizards missed out on the top pick despite entering the night with the second-best chances. As Oklahoma big man Blake Griffin is almost undoubtedly the number one pick in this year's draft, it looks like the cross-eyed monster will be heading to The City of Angels.

Good for Griffin. Meanwhile, everybody except maybe Memphis--who may draft Ricky Rubio--will be trying to figure out how to salvage a top five pick in one of the weakest drafts in recent memory.

Not to whine too much, but according to the Washington Post, the Wizards "got the worst pick they could have received after finishing tied for the NBA's second-worst record." Of course, it was just bad luck, unless you believe that there's a conspiracy like some think.

The Wizards hoped to nab the top pick much in the same way that San Antonio did it in 1997. An injured David Robinson (to Washington's Gilbert Arenas) rode the bench for the season as the Spurs fell to the worst record in the NBA. The Spurs went on to win the lottery and drafted Tim Duncan, head-and-shoulders better than anyone else at the top of the draft (sorry Chauncey Billups).

Despite the unfortunate lottery results, the Wizards could take someone like Memphis point guard Tyreke Evans in hopes of moving Arenas to the more natural spot of shooting guard. In reality, landing Griffin could have put Washington back in the mix for top dog in the Eastern Conference when everybody comes into next season healthy again. Even without Griffin, the Wizards won't be posting a sub-20-win season, especially with Flip Saunders piloting the franchise.

Here's how the top five shook out:
1. Los Angeles
2. Memphis
3. Oklahoma City
4. Sacramento
5. Washington

Attention gamblers: UK in '10

With the news coming down today through the pipeline that blue chip point guard John Wall committed to Kentucky coach John Calipari and the Wildcats, it's time for all degenerate gamblers to throw down some coin on Kentucky to win it all next season.

Wall was the icing on the cake for an already-ridiculous recruiting class that was joining an already-decent team. If guard Jodie Meeks (23.7 ppg) returns, joining big man Patrick Patterson (17.9 ppg, 9.3 rpg), we may see shades of the Fab 5 returning, only this time in Lexington.

Wall (#1 PG) joins fellow floor general Eric Bledsoe (#3 PG) as well as four-star junior college transfer Darnell Dodson and stud bigs Daniel Orton (#4 C) and DeMarcus Cousins (#1 PF). That incoming class alone could probably make it to a Sweet 16, but with Patterson already coming back and Meeks on the fence, things could get interesting.

Think about it. You've got five guys coming in as freshmen who could potentially leave after their freshman seasons--and two of them might not even start. It won't matter either way. If Calipari can convince kids to play for academic mecca Memphis, he'll be able to convince them to play for the rich history comes with the University of Kentucky.

UK was already at 9-to-1 or so in Vegas, and I would expect the commitment of Wall to water down the odds even further, probably to 5-to-1. Add in Meeks and it could be even money if Vegas sees bettors pouring it on the Wildcats.

Pittsburgh LB Harrison too good for Obama?

Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison decided to turn down the chance to meet President Obama and tour the White House on Thursday as a yearly perk to the Super Bowl champs. Ah, so Harrison disagrees with Obama's political views? Fair enough, nobody's forcing you to go.

I mean, it is a (potentially) once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, but if this is your way of disagreeing with the president's policies, by all means. Except, Harrison pulled the same stunt in 2006 when he declined the invite to meet President Bush, so it's not a specific diss to Obama. He's just not into politics in general?

"I don't feel the need to go, actually. I don't feel like it's that big a deal to me," Harrison told a Pittsburgh television station.

OK, not a big politics guy. Either way, it's a pretty big honor to be invited to the White House. Why would he turn it down?

"If you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl," Harrison said.

Sorry to tell you, James, but that's not how it works. The president doesn't just spend his time hosting all 32 teams in your off-season. He has important things to do, like fixing the economy and getting our troops out of Iraq.

"As far as I'm concerned, he would have invited Arizona if they had won," Harrison said.

What the hell? Of course he would have! It's not like Obama is going to invite you because he's a fan of your team, you moron. It's a perk to winning a championship. And if I may, the phrase "as far as I'm concerned" is synonymous with "in my opinion". So to say "As far as I'm concerned, he would have invited the Super Bowl champions," which is not an opinion, makes you look even stupider.

You could even say, "as far as I'm concerned, politics suck," and you wouldn't come off as stupid as you did there. You can't say, "as far as I'm concerned, James Harrison won the NFL Defensive Player of the Year Award last year," because that's not how it works. Hey James Harrison: as far as I'm concerned, you suck.

How not to quit your job

File this item under part life-related and a teensy bit sports-related. Benjamin "Coach" Wade, a (former) women's soccer coach at Division II Southwest Baptist University just outside of Springfield, Mo., was one of the most recent members of Survivor: Tocantins to get the boot.

Coach established himself on the island as one of the most idiotic characters ever, consistently thinking he was playing the game better than everybody else and generally being a douche. At various points throughout his stay on the island, Coach told the cast members that he had lived through various experiences that could not have possibly happened, such as getting tortured to the point of death in the rainforest by an unknown tribe, breaking free of his shackles and paddling down the Amazon River on his canoe to escape. Riiight.

Anyway, the reason that this is blogworthy is because of the details surrounding Coach's departure to the island. You see, when he left for Brazil (where this season of Survivor took place), there were two weeks left in SBU's soccer season.

Wade told the Springfield News-Leader that "the (SBU athletic department) felt like Survivor was me going to Hollywood," but SBU athletic director Brent Good came out and clarified that that was not the way that Wade left things.

"He said he was going to be gone for a week. And the week went beyond that, which went beyond that, which went beyond that," Good told the News-Leader. "Coach Wade is a good coach. I think the choice he made to do what he did was not done in the right way. With that, there's a consequence with it. Unfortunately, that consequence is that his contract is not renewed, and he's no longer here."

So let me get this straight. With two weeks left in the soccer season, Wade told the athletic director that he would be gone for a week, which lasted nearly two months, before coming back and assuming he still had his job.

Not to go all philosophical on you, my blog readers, but given the shape of the current economy, now is probably not the best time to leave your job for two months to go on Survivor. Especially if you're an unlikeable douchebag like Coach.

Now, Coach is hoping to parlay his wonderful personality into an acting career.

"I'm going to be the next big thing on the big screen," Wade told the News-Leader. "This has opened up a whole new world to me. I loved being myself on camera. There's going to be a lot of interest from the show in who I was and what I did."

Whatever helps you sleep at night, Coach.

Duke's Paulus ready to subject himself to a year of humiliation

Duke point guard and long-time sissy Greg Paulus finally exhausted his collegiate basketball eligibility, finding himself on the bench by his senior year by the time head coach Mike Krzyzewski realized he sucked.

In case you needed visual evidence of that, here's UNC forward Danny Green giving Paulus the business on a dunk. There are so many jokes here. This play involved three balls being forcefully slammed in Paulus' face. You could say he was on the receiving end of this fast break. OK, I'm done.

Now that his chances of playing NBA ball are nonexistent like 99 percent of Duke basketball alumni, Paulus figures, 'Hey, what the hell, I'll give college football a try,' and committed to Syracuse to play out his one remaining year of college (football) eligibility.

Now, now, I'm not really being fair. Four years ago, Paulus was a coveted piece of tail, a two-sport athlete (point guard and quarterback for his high school team) who turned down football offers at Notre Dame and Miami (FL) to play basketball for Duke.

Fast forward four years and Paulus thinks he can pick up where he left off. Granted, the Green Bay Packers brought him out for a tryout, but to think that he can make the same reads and throws playing football for the first time in four years, much less at a high level like the Big East, is simply laughable.

To be honest, I hope Paulus gets the starting job, just because I want to see him take a hit after being the guy who flinched any time he had to take a charge throughout college. Seriously. Watch the video below and figure how he's going to take getting sacked by a 6-foot-4, 260-pound middle linebacker. The thought of it just makes me giddy inside.

Nats bat's streak snaps

With runners on second and third base in the top of the seventh inning, Washington Nationals third baseman Ryan Zimmerman knew it was likely going to be his last chance to keep his 30-game hitting streak alive.

Already trailing 2-0, San Francisco pitcher Barry Zito felt he had only one option: to intentionally walk Zimmerman. Four pitches, four balls and the end of an impressive streak. After the game, Zimmerman (0-for-3, 2 BB) expressed his disappointment but said he enjoyed the streak while it lasted.

"It makes you realize how much better 56 is than 30. That's a long time. ... To get a hit every single game, there's got to be a little bit of luck involved," Zimmerman told reporters after the game.

Giants manager Bruce Bochy said the seventh inning walk was the only option. "We had no choice. You're behind in the count, and you have the hottest hitter in baseball up there. You're trying to limit the damage. ... It's impressive, what he did. We got caught the one time when we had to put him on, but he had four at-bats, and we pitched him well."

Zimmerman was one hit away from tying Vlad Guerrero's franchise record (31) with the Montreal Expos before the organization moved to D.C., and was well short of Joe DiMaggio's seemingly untouchable 56-game streak. He added that he isn't relieved the streak is over but is looking forward to going back to his daily routine. He did see a silver lining from the Nats' 6-3 win. "I've said every day that I'd rather win. It's been a tough year for us. I feel like we're a lot better than our record," he said.

Zito addressed the situation through a twitter message after the game: "For the record Zimmerman gets the IBB regardless of streak. That's what happens when your the best guy in line up in that situation. Night"

You stay classy, Tim Floyd

Two years ago, the New York Times reported on one of the most bizarre recruiting tales of all time. An unidentified man walks into USC basketball coach Tim Floyd's office and asks Floyd if he would like the top recruit in the country (Mayo). Floyd says of course, and asks for Mayo's phone number. "O.J. doesn't give out his cell. He'll call you," the man said.

Mayo did end up committing to the Trojans, without ever visiting campus or really being recruited by Floyd or his staff. That season, he led USC to an NCAA Tournament berth.

Well, it turns out that there's a reason that story was too good to be true: it (almost definitely) wasn't true. Yesterday, Yahoo Sports broke the story that Louis Johnson, a man formerly in Mayo's inner circle, claimed that Floyd paid that unidentified man $1,000 to land Mayo for him. Johnson appeared on an episode of ESPN's Outside the Lines, where he discussed other illegal acts that Floyd partook in, such as $30,000 for food, clothing and a 42-inch HDTV.

That man turned out to be Rodney Guillory, a Los Angeles-area preps basketball promoter, who, as promised, delivered the commitment from Mayo to Floyd. Mayo left for the NBA after a year, heading to the Memphis Grizzlies, while Floyd must answer the NCAA's questions about his recruitment. Of course, Guillory declined to comment on the issue when called.

The Mayo recruitment would be another nightmare for USC's athletic department, which is still answering questions about NFL running back Reggie Bush's recruitment back in 2002, when he allegedly received more than $100,000 in improper benefits, including a weekly $1,500 check to Bush's parents while he attended USC. Thi$ $pell$ di$a$ter for U$C, if you a$k me.

Cavs cakewalk to Eastern Finals

The LeBron James Show: coming to an NBA Finals near you!

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm the least likely person to toot LeBron's horn. You know, then, that when I'm giving him his due respect, he must have earned it.

To be fair, most of my dislike of LeBron stems 50 percent from the fact that he daggers the Wizards all too often. The other 50 percent is a combination of jealousy that he isn't the star of my team and the fact that he hams it up for the sake of getting on ESPN.

Getting back on track, James scored 28.4 points per game in the regular season but has stepped it up in the playoffs, averaging 32.9 points per game as the Cavaliers swept both the Detroit Pistons and the Atlanta Hawks in four games each. The thing is, the games weren't even close. Cleveland has outscored its opponents by nearly 17 points per game, and hasn't had a single-digit game through the first two rounds.

Heading into the playoffs, I had the Lakers over the Cavaliers in six games. I figured the Celtics would give the Cavs a run for their money in the Eastern Conference Finals. That could still happen, but Boston ran a marathon in the first round in a seven-game series with the Bulls and their series against Orlando might go the distance as well. If the Magic win, the Cavs might even sweep them, too.

As for the West, I still have the Lakers coming out, but just barely. The Nuggets are the hottest team on the Left Coast and could take L.A. to the wire. If Denver comes out of the West, it would pit the two hottest teams in the NBA against each other. If L.A. comes out as predicted, it would pit the two best scorers in the NBA against each other. Either way, it's sure to be a good NBA Finals.

Big Baby hits a big shot

Down one point with five seconds left in Game 4, Celtics star forward Paul Pierce found himself double-teamed. Pierce quickly found second-year big man Glen "Big Baby" Davis in the corner, who knocked down the 21-foot game-winning shot to steal the game and knot the series at 2-2, saving Boston's season and taking the wind out of Orlando's sails in one fell swoop.

It was easily the biggest shot of Davis' short NBA career and one that will probably be remembered for a while if the Celtics use the newly-acquired momentum to win the series. While I'm rooting for the Magic because I'm a fan of all things Dwight Howard and bitter toward all things sports-related in Beantown, the shot was pretty nuts.

Buzzer-beaters are one of the greatest things about sports. An entire city's hopes rest on the shoulders of a player as the ball leaves his hands. For a moment, everyone is breathless. The ball swishes through the nylon and the fan base explodes. The team rejoices. True, uninhibited emotion is visible everywhere.

So naturally, the first thing I noticed after Big Baby's dagger was the reaction of Celtics coach Doc Rivers, who does one of those old-man-jumping-up-and-down-while-pumping-his-fists reactions, and Glen Davis shoving some kid out of the way to go celebrate with his team. Both are equally awesome, so make sure to watch the whole video. I'm asking you to take 90 seconds out of your day. Oh, the audacity! (It's worth it.)

Manny getting in touch with his feminine side

What's that lovable Latino in the Dodgers jersey up to these days? Well, it turns out that 37 year-old Manny Ramirez tested positive for a performance enhancing drug (PED). So it was steroids, right? Maybe some human growth hormone? Some creatine? Wrong! Turns out Manny was trying to get in touch with his feminine side by taking a little human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG).

A quick glance at Wikipedia enlightened me to the fact that this pill is often given to women who are having trouble getting pregnant as a measure to trigger ovulation. No, Manny's unpredictable mood swings doesn't mean that he was menstruating, and the drug isn't only for women. In fact, it's used to pump testosterone into the system after taking steroids.

In reality, the drug is similar to one that Jason Giambi and Barry Bonds used through BALCO in San Francisco. Manny claims that his doctor prescribed him the medicine and that he wasn't aware it was a banned substance. Riiight.

Honest question: who didn't see this coming? Ramirez was on pace to clear 30 home runs and 100 RBIs fairly easily, which is impressive for someone in his prime--though 37 is a little over the hill. Known for being a difficult teammate, Manny will now get to park himself on the bench for 50 games, the MLB's standard suspension for first-time banned substance offenders. Enjoy the vacation, Manny!

NCAA snatches scholies

In its yearly effort to curb kids from being one-and-done to the NBA or three-and-done to the NFL, the NCAA released its schools Academic Progress Rates (APR) yesterday. With that report comes the reality that schools with low graduation rates will face the consequences.

Georgia Tech, Indiana and Ohio State each lost two scholarships for falling below the 900 mark. Auburn, Colorado, Purdue, South Carolina and Tennessee were docked one scholarship each.

Georgia Tech sent several players early to the NBA in recent years, specifically Javarris Crittenton and Thaddeus Young, a pair of freshmen who leapt to the NBA after one year with the Yellow Jackets.

Indiana must face the facts after Kelvin Sampson ran the program into the ground, earning several sanctions along the way before ultimately resigning in February 2008. Former Marquette coach Tom Crean took over the job and returned just one scholarship player, destroying the chances of a winning season--or a winning APR.

After finishing as the runners-up in the 2007 NCAA Men's Basketball Championship, Ohio State saw three freshmen jump to the league: Greg Oden, Mike Conley and Daequan Cook. In 2008, freshman center Kosta Koufos left for the NBA as well.

The report proves a tough reminder that the NCAA wants kids to stay in school and earn a diploma rather than use college basketball as a one-year training wheels period before jumping (sometimes prematurely) to the NBA. It also forces schools to reevaluate whether or not high school kids who want to use the NCAA as a springboard are worth the hassle. Kids like John Wall, Lance Stephenson, DeMarcus Cousins and Derrick Favors are likely headed to the NBA after just one year in college. Unless Kentucky (Cousins) or Georgia Tech (Favors) makes a deep run in the tournament, are the lost scholarships worth it?

Blue-chip recruit Wall makes a boo-boo

High school hoops phenom John Wall was charged with misdemeanor breaking and entering in his hometown of Raleigh, NC. The police report noted that there was no forced entry and nothing was missing from the home, which basically means he was going to hook up with his girlfriend. Everyone has done stupid stuff like this when they were a teenager, but not everyone is a high profile recruit.

Wall is known for having an entourage that makes MC Hammer's groupies look wimpy. The consensus No. 1 prospect in the country should probably focus on picking a school, not picking a house to break into, but that's just me. Then again, the reports said that he was with a girl, so maybe he's just trying to get his swerve on.

The 18 year-old superstar is set to decide between Duke, Baylor, Kentucky, Memphis, Kansas, NC State and Miami in the near future. Earlier this year, Wall, a fifth-year senior, was rumored to be trying to skip college altogether and head to the NBA next season, but was denied the move. Some have compared his game to Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose.

It ain't easy being an NFL wide receiver

Warning: not for the weak of stomach (yet somehow safe for work)

Here's a bold prediction: NFL wide receiver Torry Holt will never be a professional hand model after his playing days are over. I'll keep this short and sweet: you shouldn't watch this before, during or after eating. As the scar on my knee reminds me of my days of playing lacrosse, this will surely remind him of his days of pro ball long after he retires.

Carl Crawford is a thief

Tampa Bay Rays outfielder Carl Crawford has always been known for his speed on the diamond, but last night he tied the modern record for stolen bases with six in one game as the Rays topped the BoSox 5-3.

Crawford had no idea about the record despite the Rays' jumbotron displaying a message that he had tied the modern record.

"Oh, that's what they were cheering about. I thought they were just cheering. I didn't look. I was paying attention to the game," Crawford told reporters.

Crawford, who led the American League in stolen bases four times in his career, was the first player to accomplish the feat since 1996 when Eric Young did it for the Rockies.

"I probably would have broken it if I knew. I'd have definitely tried. I didn't even try. I don't know if that will ever happen again," said Crawford, who now has 17 stolen bases on the season to lead the league.

Baltimore tops DC for bragging rights

I was parked at St. Frances Academy in downtown Baltimore today to check out some up-and-coming high school hoops prospects in the first-ever I-95 Elite Challenge today hosted by the folks at InsideMDSports.com, and it was worth the price of admission. The day was broken down into four games--Class of 2013, 2012, 2011 and 2010--and here's a quick rundown of the day's events.

2013 game: Pitting eighth graders against each other was a little creepy, but the two stars of the game were Baltimore's Aquille Carr (a tiny Tim Hardaway) and DC's DJ Fenner (a long, lean player with a good shot). A fight nearly broke out at halfcourt between Carr and a few DC players but the refs quickly stopped the arguing. Kudos to the zebras for the good work.

2012 game: Unfortunately, DC was without guard Justin Anderson, a potential blue chip player for Montrose Christian in the upcoming year or two. Anderson's absence put a damper on the game, but Baltimore big man Josh Forney of SFA is a presence at 6-foot-8. Forney finished around the rim and showed some impressive athleticism when he was in the open court.

2011 game: DC has a pair of guys to keep an eye on: DeMatha's Quinn Cook and Montrose's T. Jordan Omogbehin. Cook doesn't get as many shots with a loaded DeMatha backcourt during the regular season, but he showed his ability to finish at the rack as well as hit the deep ball at SFA. Omogbehin has only played basketball for a few years, and at 7-foot tall is an interesting prospect if he can even tie his own shoes. His hands need some work as he bobbled some lob passes in warmups, but Omogbehin is thicker than an average 7-foot tall 15 year-old and should gain a lot under Montrose Christian coach Stu Vetter's wing. Baltimore's Grandy Glaze threw down a handful of nice dunks and turned some heads. The Canuck could be a high-major athlete in the upcoming year if he has a successful summer AAU campaign.

2010 game: Baltimore rolled by nearly 30 points as DC was decimated with no-shows: Victor Oladipo, Hippolyte Tsafack, Markel Starks (Georgetown), Byron Allen (West Virginia), Tyler Thornton (Duke) and Daryl Traynham. That crew would have given the DC team a significant amount of depth and could have made the game interesting, but without them the nation's capital was in trouble early. Baltimore studs Will Barton (pictured) and Roscoe Davis dominated the game with dazzling dunks and showed great range with an array of shots. For the DC side, Mychal Parker and Terrence Ross played well but had few other viable scoring options.

I hope you saw that

Wow. I had to pick my chin up off the floor after seeing the ending to last night's Celtics-Bulls Game 6. Already one of the best NBA series in recent memory, Thursday night's triple-overtime thriller was simply the icing on the cake. Chicago squeaked past Boston 128-127 after both teams played tug-of-war with the lead all game, forcing a Game 7 in Boston.

The strangest part of last night's game was the hero: Joakim Noah, who last year was relegated to the bench by his own teammates for arguing with a Bulls assistant coach. Noah stole a Paul Pierce pass in the second overtime, went the distance of the court, emphatically dunking the ball and drawing a foul from Pierce. Later in the frame, Bulls rookie Derrick Rose swatted a Rajon Rondo shot to essentially ice the game. Perhaps Noah finally gained a little street cred from his teammates for his clutch heroics.

Of the six games played, four went into overtime, needing seven total overtime periods to determine the winner. Both teams have combined for 106 lead changes, and five of the six games have been decided by one possession. One measly possession. If you don't include Game 3, in which Boston beat the Bulls by 21 points, the Bulls hold a 573-572 edge in 275 minutes of basketball. It quite literally cannot get any closer.

If you fell asleep beneath a blanket of Cheetos dust before seeing how it all ended, here's the highlight. To hell with the second round of the Stanley Cup, or even the Kentucky Derby. If you're going to tune in to sports on Saturday, it better be for Game 7 at the TD Garden.