Redskins all-time great cornerback Darrell Green celebrated his 50th birthday on Monday exactly how I plan to celebrate mine: by running a 4.43-second 40-yard dash.
That's right. 4.43 seconds. I can barely get off my couch in 4.43 seconds, much less be 40 yards away from where I started.
Of course, the only proof of this actually happening is Green's Twitter feed, which read: "Quick update from the Birthday Boy:) I think today I became the fastest 50 year old in the world! @9AM today, I celebrated my 50th BDay.....By running the 40 yard dash in Orlando, Florida in a time of 4.43! FYI, all born between 1946 -1964 are baby boomers..."
Green was known for being one of the fastest players in NFL history during his 20-season tenure. Coming out of college at Texas A&I University -- now Texas A&M-Kingsville -- Green was known just as much for his prowess on the track as his success on the gridiron.
In fact, he was so well-known for his speed, that if you look up 40-yard dash on Wikipedia, Green is listed in the entry: "Darrell Green, who once ran the 40-yard dash in an unofficial time of 4.09 seconds, had a collegiate best of 10.08 s in the 100 meters."
For argument's sake, let's say Green ran a conservative (and much more human-like) 4.25 or 4.30 at the age of 18. Thirty-two years later, he's literally only lost a step. Or maybe a half-step.
I'm practically breaking out in a sweat writing this. All this talk about exercise has me feeling like I've really physically exerted myself for the day. I think I'll eat a cheeseburger for lunch.