Tiger writes $750 million check

The London Sun reported yesterday that golfer Tiger Woods and his wife Elin have finalized a divorce settlement. Woods and his ex-wife will split the bank account right down the middle, to the tune of $750 million.

There's one catch: "she can never publicly speak out over his flings with socialite Rachel Uchitel, reality star Jaimee Grubbs, porn queen Joslyn James and up to 17 others, who will work out costing him 25 million pounds each," the Sun wrote.

For $750 million, you could legitimately convince me to never speak again, much less speak publicly.

According to Forbes, in 2009 there were 793 billionaires in the world, one of which is (or was) Tiger. By discovering her husband cheating -- which, to be honest, didn't require a Sherlock Holmes-like investigation -- Elin is now one of the richest 2,000 people in the world.

This all begs the question: who's a guy gotta sleep with around here to get a $750 million paycheck? Jeez.